Back to emergency room I went. The attending doctor ordered the usual barrage of tests, and then began to try and find a "home" for me. The hospital where I had surgery said they had done their job, and I was sent home alive. The hospital where my attending nephrologist AKA Kidney Doctor works, said they would take me, but my usual nephrologist said he wouldn't admit me, because I wasn't yet on dialysis. WHAT THE?? That slight made me pretty mad, as I have been a patient of their practice since I was diagnosed.
Luckily for me, they found a "good natured" doctor that agreed to take me on a patient. Time for the ambulance ride.
Ever ridden in an ambulance? No good. These Maine roads are bumpy and rocky enough, when you are driving or riding strapped into the seat of a car. If you take out the seat, add in a VERY narrow stretcher, take out normal clothes, and add a skinny scrap of cloth called a johnny, and take out seated facing forward so you can brace for any bumps you see in the road, and add in facing backwards strapped in like a mad man, and you have my ambulance ride to Lewiston.
I understand needing belts and straps 'cause the last thing anyone wants is a patient falling off the stretcher en route to a hospital. However, I was one face mask away from being called Hannibal Lecter. I couldn't as much as scratch my nose, I was so confined. I hadn't eaten breakfast yet, and was starved by the time they sent me packing. All I could think about on the trip over was eating a big bowl of fava beans with a nice Chianti...and I don't even like wine.
Once at the hospital, the medics opened the doors for my ambulance exit. They of course, have to pull out the stretcher, and hold it up while the legs, or well, for lack of a proper term, the landing gear drops down into place. That meant they had to hold me in mid air. On the stretcher. Lucky them.
I said,"Ohhhh your poor backs!"
One chappie said it wasn't too bad, but the beads of sweat that popped out on his forehead told a different story. I think I heard them say something about a pending hernia surgery, I don't know.
Off we went to the fourth floor, and a quick admittance. The nurses were very nice, and let me have some water but alas, no food had been ordered. So, I had to wait on that, as I listened to the sights and sounds of the fourth floor. Some poor soul was hollering, and calling, and I felt bad, but really hoped they would sleep peacefully at night. They didn't.
The doctor came in and ordered another complete round of lab work. I really didn't know why, since I had just had 6 tubes of blood drawn at the Bridgton Hospital before I was sent off on the "magic bus." Then a couple hours later, I had more drawn. You know how it says to use shampoo on the side of the bottle? "Lather, Rinse Repeat?" That was me with labs.
Blood draw, drink some water, Blood draw. Most of the night. Any wonder my anemia has reached dizzying heights. I went to fold my flannel granny night gown, and my arms were so tired from holding it up to fold, I just rolled it into a ball and called it good. And switched to a short cotton nightie.
I received antibiotics, (I prefer to call them Antibionics)
and that must be what they were because the next day the doctor said I was "too healthy to stay there." Now THAT'S a first, let me tell ya... I can't think of any other time I was told I was too healthy to stay in a hospital.
I think he had second thoughts however, when he was telling me I was about to be discharged, and suddenly I said
"Hey! Am I peeing?????"
The family all standing around me looked at me, with oh I don't know...fear? concern? embarrassment?
"WHAT?" they all asked in unison.
Now, in my own defense, I had my arms under the covers when I said that, so I couldn't see the trouble at hand.
"Am I peeing or what is going on??" I asked again, as I pulled my arms out and lifted the blanket to see EXACTLY what was taking place under the ole sheets.
The good doctor leaned in to see if I was going to be more of a challenge then he had originally thought, when we both saw it at the same moment. It, of course, was the fact that I had pulled out my IV line by catching it on the blanket, and let's just say, my blood thinners were indeed working. The blood was RUNNING out of my arm at a startling rate of speed, and was soaking my side, nightgown, and butt in very rapid fashion.
"Oh," I said. "Whew, at least I'm not peeing."
By now, the doctor had strolled out of the room to look for a little something to staunch the flow, and I has putting a dite of pressure on my arm. Brogan helped by pressing above the spot, but we didn't have one thing available to use to stop the flow. My brother was about to yank off his belt for a tourniquet but a nurse popped in to help. The doctor did his best impression of Michael Jackson, and 'Beat It.'
I got my 'walking papers", and waited for my sister to come back and get me. She had been at the hospital earlier, but left out of boredom. They do take forever to get a patient discharged.
So, I am once again at home, with strict orders to rest. I made an apple pie, brownies and a chicken dinner. Oh, and rolled my nightgown into a ball. Ahhh, it is good to be home!
| Surveying the damage from the tree that fell |

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